if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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