I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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