Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
it was like eating out sand paper
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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