Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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