i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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