That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
