Me too!
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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