Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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