Yo dont text me then not text me
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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