mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
