ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
