farters have to be the big spoon...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
