it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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