So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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