just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
