I think my fart just growled at me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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