I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
