Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
