i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
