I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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