In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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