i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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