The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
