So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
