dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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