Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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