i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
