remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
