did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
