White coat. Heels.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
