Me too!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
