its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
