We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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