I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
