Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
