I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
