i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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