Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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