"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
