I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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