He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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