I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
