I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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