I'm jealous of your bromance
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
