you didnt know i had herpes?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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