if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
