idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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