you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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