Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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