I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
