You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
