wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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