Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
