I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
