just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
