If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
