M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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