I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Can Purell be used as lube?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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