Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
worst night to have a conscience
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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