Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
