Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
