I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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