I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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