those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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