you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
